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Are you playing the game? By the amazing Grace Farris.
P.S. Pregnancy pillow and types of walks.
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I’m 54 and had all the symptoms and my primary care doctor was of no use. I went to see a gynecologist and pushed for HRT and it was literally LIFE CHANGING. The rage, the night sweats, the insomnia — all gone. I feel myself again. Such a lot of quality time of my life wasted being grumpy and exhausted — I get so mad in retrospect. Also, if your hair starts thinning, I highly, highly recommend getting a prescription for oral minoxidil and finasteride.
My “game” was Pandemic, ADD, or Menopause? Still playing it, but now on HRT. I wish I had started it earlier rather than taking anti-depressants- all of this was joined by a horrible, terrible, ill-planned and devastating work merger and culture change which we are still recovering from.
You forgot SO HOT AT NIGHT, ABSOLUTELY ROASTING, TRULY THE DEVIL’S TEMPERATURE after never being hot at night before.
Perimenopause is no joke. Went my first stretch of missing 3 periods in a row at 42. Thankfully, wasn’t pregnant! But it later occurred to me that this was probably my first hint. But then I went another 7 years with totally normal periods. Then it hit like a freight train at 49. Mood swings, all day sweats, no period for 2 months, then a 3 week period that was out of control heavy. My mood swings are no joke! Only my testosterone levels are out of kilter. Other levels are all normal. Last year, I went 8 months without a period. I was so stoked. Was really wanting to get to that 1 year mark without one to be considered in menopause. Then it hit like a freight train out of control. Another 3 week period, where I couldn’t control the bleeding. I would have to change a tampon, and night time pad for heavy flow, literally every half hour. It was horrendous. I cried. My life was tied to knowing where a bathroom was at all times. Then I had 2 months of normal periods. Back at 4 months without having one, but the emotional roller coaster is exhausting. Come on menopause…I am ready for you.
Hi Betsy – I also had the super heavy bleeding. I remember being on an overseas flight and running through every single tampon and pad I had and still leaked everywhere. I thought this was a normal transition at the end of the life of my period. I mentioned the crazy heavy periods to a friend who is a physician and she encouraged me to get it checked out. Turns out I had a fibroid the size of a lime causing the bleeding. It may be worth a visit to your doc.
Betsy, WOW, that sounds really hard.
Betsi, I am echoing the pls get it checked out advice! I too was having major issues with bleeding that cause low iron and so many difficulties during my day. I wound up needing a uterus ablation.
“It isn’t perimenopause . . . is it?” Just gonna leave this short, funny video from the Baroness von Sketch Show right here.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=3551425548216594
A friend sent this when I started noticing changes a couple of years ago. Anytime I feel overwhelmed, resentful, crabby, grouchy, etc. etc., I click play on this and have myself a little private pity party with a giggle. It’s the little things, y’all.
LOL I just watched it an it’s SO freaking accurate!!!! Gotta laugh to keep from crying, which, is probably perimenopause…is it? I mean, there’s not much research…I’m going to be chuckling about this for weeks…
I have actually been thinking about asking COJ to address this topic…
Im sure this is one of those things that is different for everyone, but for me…
SUGAR = NIGHT SWEATS. It’s a really noticeable correlation.
Weight training, oh my god it has made such a difference. Before, joints, back, everything hurt- with regular weight training I have virtually no pain and my mood is much better.
Fiber. Tons of fiber.
Some of the symptoms are so weird- you suddenly notice a strange thing going on with you body, and then some tiny corner of the internet will connect it with perimenopause…
For example, I suddenly started having sleep apnea, waking up gasping with a feeling that my throat had collapsed. Apparently the reduced estrogen allows all your tissues to get softer, so yes, my now softer windpipe is flopping in on itself when I sleep on my back. Who knew.
Another issue- for many of us, this time coincides with the beginning of The Losses. It is a time of life when you start to know people who have died- parents, perhaps the first of your friends. For me, perimenoapuse started in the same year that I experienced several major losses of this kind, and it was very confusing. Is this unbelievable anger grief rage? Or hormonal rage? Or some horrific combination of the two?
Also, I think it’s funny that as I am writing this, the comment box keeps underlining “perimenopause” in red dots. I have double checked and I think I’m spelling it right… which means that the spell check function thinks that this word does not exist. Which pretty much says it all.
I’m in my mid-thirties, so maybe/hopefully peri is still a bit away for me…but I have to say YES to all the hype you hear about women lifting weights. I started doing this 8 months ago, and wow…incredible difference. And to be clear, I started lifting 4lbs and am now at 25 for leg exercises and 8-15 for arms, so don’t think you need to lift Hulk-heavy weights.
Combining this with protein and fibre has been MAGICAL. Fixed hair loss, improved skin glow, calmed my insatiable appetite (spoiler, I was just starving), and best of all…I SLEEP now (after months of debilitating insomnia) and have regular periods. Oh, and hi, libido.
Love your comment, Anon, about the spell-check for “perimenopause”. So many conversations still need to happen to make this mainstream! Enough of women’s health being dismissed!
I just turned 48 and noticed some changes. I also have a thyroid issue and honestly it’s really hard to know if it’s perimenopause or if my thyroid is out of wack. I’m seeing an endocrinologist who is helping me navigate this. Please more perimenopause content I love knowing I am not alone.
Mine was both! Now have it sorted
same! The overlap is so hard to figure out – would just a tweak to my meds make all the difference, or is this hormonal and I don’t stand a chance? I hope you find answers.
Thank you Grace Farris!❤️
I belong to an HMO and to say they are conservative is an understatement. I started perimenopause @ 8 years ago. At the time I had a friend who was loving HRT. I asked my Gynecologist about testing my hormone levels and she shrugged it off. I really like her , she did my fibroid surgery ( I still have my ovaries), but she wasn’t much help in the menopause department. I found an online company with doctors and nurses who monitor everything. It has been a game changer! I go for regular hormone blood tests in case anything has to be adjusted. Hormones change daily, so this is a must. Please seek out another doctor if yours won’t ( or can’t) help you. I do believe part of the problem is that there is so little research, most doctors do not understand much if anything about menopause. I also urge to do as soon as you start getting symptoms. The earlier you start HRT the better the outcome.
Glad you advocated for yourself! I was just listening to this podcast episode about MHT (menopause hormone therapy) and the guest said that hormone levels fluctuate so wildly, even by orders of magnitude within a 24-hour period, that the focus with hormone therapy should be on whether your symptoms are well-controlled with your dose, vs. trying to get to a specific number on a test. Just in case anyone is concerned about costs/scheduling issues with frequent testing. Here’s the episode: https://www.drcaitlin.com/podcast/hormone-therapy
This has been my experience as well! Would you mind sharing the online company??? I was doing the OTC FSH monitor but it feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Love! I’m 47 and this has been my buzz word for about one year now, glad it is being talked about! I recently switched to a menopause-certified gyn and it feels great to know she is listening and speaking my language!
There are some great resources out there (many of which have already been mentioned). A podcast I get alot out of is A Certain Age with Katie Fogarty. She recently had Maria Sophocles on to talk about the midlife bedroom gap and it was really helpful! https://overcast.fm/+h5-bsvBA8
Wait, what about the hot flashes and the INSOMNIA? I could be wrong (I had a ton of brain fog, too) but for me it was ALL about hot flashes and insomnia. HRT, my friends, HRT! Two words: I sleep!
Yes!
Incredible
I started suppressing my periods at 41, ten years ago now. Probably saved my life. Perimenopause and undiagnosed Ehlers Danlos were wrecking my life. For two weeks every month I was full of rage cycling why depression and shame and suicidal ideation. My joint pain was off the charts. I had no solution for the massive bleeding, I couldn’t leave my house. My anxiety was bonkers. Anemia and sleeplessness were making it hard to even function. I would go back to *normal* for a couple weeks only to be hot again. The first month I started suppressing my periods stopped and I’ve not had one since. Every vacation. Every family event. Every holiday. No worries. I wake up every day in the same happy mood. I just don’t have mood swings anymore. 3 years ago a MRI for my hips showed something suspicious in my uterus and I had to have more imaging. Turns out the MRI was just picking up a ghost image, thankfully. But my OB GYN said after the further imaging, “I rarely see such a happy uterus in a woman of 48!” We are not meant to menstruate for decades. It’s terrible for us and not at all natural. I think so many peri and meno problems stem from this. Anyways, please ask for help if you are suffering. And don’t settle on antidepressants if you don’t think that’s the answer (or the only answer). I’ve recently added the estrogen patch a few months back because I’m 51 now and I truly think it’s going to help me stay well for longer. It’s also solved this weird bad taste in my mouth that I had for months, inner ear itching, and my brain fog is better too.
I have so many questions! Do you use birth control to suppress menstruation? When did you start? Did you do it on your own or did a doctor recommend it? I haven’t been on birth control for 7 years (I’m 38) because I didn’t like how it made me feel. Does the inverse happen at a certain time?
What does suppressing your period mean?
Hi Sasha, thanks for sharing ! I would be interested in finding out how you did this too. I have PMDD and debating going down the cycle suppression route with Zolodex GNRH injection . Nervous as you can imagine but I am so sensitive to hormones changes and am a little bit terrified about what peri brings !
I’m glad you’ve found something that works for you. I’m very curious about this part of your post: “We are not meant to menstruate for decades. It’s terrible for us and not at all natural.” What is this based on? I mean we DO menstruate for decades (the vast majority of us). On what basis are we not meant to? Genuine curiosity. I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately and haven’t come across anything like this assertion.
Emma, maybe Sasha is referring to how women used to be pregnant and breastfeeding much longer in the past (equals less menstruation)…..I think Malcom Gladwell discussed this in one of his books.
Emma, until birth control became prevalent, most women married young and got pregnant early and often. Women spent most of their lives either pregnant or nursing many children. Until the last century or so, women died younger, and much more often in childbirth. It was unusual, for much of human history for there to be lots of post-menopausal women. Women evolved to give birth often and die much younger. Thanks to the choices we have now, we are having many more periods than most women had throughout history.
Taking the Pill or Mini Pill continuously to suppress periods can be considered more “natural” since we are not designed to ovulate constantly and not got pregnant. I did this from the ages of 35 to 57, and it was FABULOUS. No cramps, no mood swings, no bloating, no migraines, no IBS flare-up, no breakouts, and no worries about pregnancy.
Emma, I’m guessing Sasha means in the past lots of women would have had many breaks from menstruating due to pregnancy and extended breastfeeding?
Emma O – the menstruating for decades concern is that for most of our existence, women have been pregnant a LOT of their (shorter) lives. (Queen Charlotte and her 15 babies!) And therefore the monthly hormone surge and blood/iron loss that comes with menstruating happened way, way less. I recall studies looking into the link between period frequency and ovarian and uterine cancers – not up to snuff enough to share facts here. But IMO it makes sense that if the body has the equiv of several years of no hormone surge, maybe that’s good?
Thanks for the replies everyone! I hadn’t thought of pregnancy as a ‘break’ from menstruation although of course it makes sense. Interesting.
This is painfully, hilariously accurate. This week I’ve been researching “meno belly,” high protein/low fat snacks, and “menopause greasy hair?” all while on my still-very-regular period.
Are you me? Did I write this comment, misname myself, and completely forget? It’s entirely possible!
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