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I feel seen. By the amazing Grace Farris.
P.S. Mom voices and taking kids hiking.
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Heather! I love this story. Hahahahahahahaha.
For anyone in the desert….please add, “look Mom, we found a scorpion!!!” Gulp.
Unpopular opinion, but man, so much complaining from folks who have kids! I know, this is “playful” or “satire,” but at its heart, it is a gripe about how hiking is a lot harder with kids. If you aren’t prepared for everything you do to be harder as a result of the kids, you were kidding yourself when you had them. Please do us all a favor and stop whinging about a decision you made.
As a parent, I see it as an attempt to connect with other parents, and validate the feeling of “this is really hard, right?” I always remark to my husband, after spending time with other parents, that I feel so much better about the whole chaos of parenting. It’s nice to feel like you’re not alone, that your kids aren’t the only ones who drive you crazy; we’re going through it together and need to be able to laugh about it!
I echo what Barbara said. Two things can be true: wanting to have children and acknowledging that things are harder with them. I hope you feel that you are able to complain about decisions you made from time to time!
Corinda I get what you’re saying I do, but: While I having kids as is a decision on PERSONAL level, it is not a decision on a SOCIETAL level. Like, legit, someone has to do it, unless you, Corinda, want to be the youngest person left on earth and grow old and retire have no younger people around to drive your bus or Uber, grow or serve your food or be your doctor or caregiver. People who decide not to have children are entirely justified in their decision, but YES, your life is logistically and financially easier because someone else is doing the heavy lifting of keeping the human race going and society functioning. These people are allowed to lighthearrtedly complain from time to time.
Remember: You were once a child. Every adult ones. Until we start cloning full-blown adults, calling having children a choice is just… Well, it’s just dumb. Sorry, I said what I said.
*So many typos in my response: sorry! But you get the gist I hope. Somebody has to have children in this world and if you personally don’t want to, all you need to do is show a wee bit of gratitude that other people on this earth are doing the hard work that you don’t want to. That’s all.
To Embed, that’s…one way of looking at the world. All childfree people are selfish and parents are doing all the hard work that support all freeloading childfree people. With that attitude, gently, any wonder that there is some pushback?
What about “stopping to play for a minute” – “this is our house and we’re all dinosaurs…”
If it were up to my child every ten minutes we’d stop to play for half an hour. It’s agonizingly slow. Continuing to hike while playing or trying to work hiking into the game is…not ideal. There was that one time we were a dinosaur family being chased, which resulted in him trail running the entire second half of the hike. It was amazing. That one time lol.
Hmm… I think I’m a kid.
This map reads like my internal monologue when hiking, complete with the love for it at the end. My map would also have several stops for *picks wedgie,*complains about the weather *points out specific and surprising colours in nature *resents the weight of the water bottle *saves a leaf, feather or stick as a souvenir *loses leaf, feather or stick and along with all that; omnipresent *worries about deadly critters.
Guys. I grew up in Ohio and live in Illinois. What is the definition of a hike? Is it a walk with elevation? Does it have to be in a wooded area? Should I google local hikes (I’m sure they’re all fairly far away) and then drive there? What’s the appropriate ratio of driving time to hiking time with small children? It sounds like you all love hiking. I want to try it!
ADR,
Not an expert here, but I define a “hike” as a walk in nature where you take snacks! Candy even, whatever it takes. Also, kids MUST be dressed comfortably, as an itchy tag or cold ears are magnified x1000 in nature. Only you know how long is “too long” in the car with your kids, haha. For my kids, if there’s a lake or river involved, they will undoubtedly be happy. Yes, google hikes in your area, read reviews on AllTrails and just go! Happy trails!
I love hiking and hope you give it a try! I think of a hike as a walk anywhere in nature. Think beach hikes, desert hikes, wood hikes, snow hikes etc. Have fun exploring!
I’d say a hike is any type of walk in nature! Doesn’t matter the distance, elevation, strenuousness, terrain. Sometimes a hike is just a fancy name for a walk! You can even do urban hikes! For me it’s just about exploring. Illinois sounds like you may have some lovely prairie hikes! Sometimes a hike with my kid is 10 minutes, sometimes it’s a couple of hours (based on whether he’s walking or I’m carrying him and he falls asleep lol).
This past summer, we took the kids on a little hike recommended by the seasonal campers at a campsite where we were staying. When we told the manager we were going he joked “hope you find your way back!” Laughing like crazy. We asked “is it okay for us and our little kids?” He said “sure!” Cue two hours of being lost on a mountain with poorly marked trails (all the same orange square despite going up or down the mountain)! We had snack breaks, pee breaks, GPS breaks and also freak outs while lost. But my two little kids still talk about it as being the time they “climbed a mountain” lol to impress friends.
My family of origin didn’t hike, basically didn’t do anything physical. So when I married my first love being in the wilderness.
My eldest turns 20 today! Despite the whining, the bribing, the emergency outdoor pooping, wet socks from jumping over streams, etc, there has been a moment in every hike for the last 10 years (usually about 75% through) when the 3 kids take off on their own, chatting animatedly about SOMETHING (probably video games??) My husband and I hang back, I get teary and he takes a picture of the three of them, heads tilted together, bodies animated, outside in the tall trees and mountains and totally unaware of their parents. I have dozens of these pictures and cherish them!
I love this Jenny! I have three too, ages 5 months through 5 years. Glimpses into future stages like this make my heart swell.
We always hike. And bring vitamin C!
(Candy)
YES! I love her work and this one especially hits home. The only items I would add are bathroom breaks. They always come at really inconvenient times, and my daughter is notorious for an, “I guess I don’t have to go,” after we got everything situated (including the key squat position) and several bikers/hikers/dogs have already walked by.
Could add:
Waves at passing firetruck.
My daughters generally loved hiking, especially when fueled with trail mix and either hot chocolate or lemonade – season dependent. We had a couple seasons long break from hiking at one point and the next time out, my youngest (5)looked up at me as she walked beside me, sweetly holding my hand and inquired “Mom? Do we LIKE hiking?” She wasn’t quite sure if this was business or pleasure! It was hilarious.
i ask myself the same question every time i go hiking! lol
This:-) I’ve done a lot of hiking/entry-level mountaineering in my life and we always laugh about how it’s something you can absolutely HATE while doing it, but retrospectively LOVE as soon as you get to your destination/find some particularly blissful moment on the trail.
Do we like hiking? OMG I love this so much LOL
Our kid has wised up that the bag of little candies we dole out is in our pack *the whole time* and now wants the bag at the start of the trail. Too smart for her own (and our) good.
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