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By the wonderful Grace Farris.
P.S. Throw pillows I need and books as self-care.
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I am utterly obsessed with our family’s first baby and have been searching for a baseball cap that just says ‘aunt’ so people will ask me about my niece :) For now, I wear a necklace of two connected circles, one big and one small, that was a gift “from my newborn niece” last Christmas. The card said, “Aunty, this is you and me!” meaning our hearts are forever intertwined. I cried.
I wish these existed! I had THE BEST aunts growing up—they’re still some of my absolute favorite people in the world. Now I’m an “aunt” to my cousin’s kids and I love it. My aunts showed me that kids need adults of all kinds in their lives. I feel lucky that even though I don’t have kids, I get some special kids in my life.
That really sucks! I’m sorry. I am in the same boat with my sister and my 6-year-old who at first asked why we couldn’t see his aunt and now just gets it. It also automatically excludes us from any family get-togethers/holidays where she will be present because the risk is too great. It is a painful, tiring time.
My sister and I don’t always have the easiest relationship but love, love, love each other’s kids. I sent her this cartoon and she replied ‘we are totally this’ xx
I didn’t even know pillows for aunts were a thing. I’m loving it!
I think this kind of auntie is the childless kind. Or the her-kids-are-grown kind.
My brother’s wives had children when we did. Win: the cousins are a pack for life. Challenge: The aunts are as kidded-out as me, and make different enough parenting choices that we bump into those edges constantly when our families are together (no bedtime! grown up movies! shooting video games! sugar part of the routine! and my favorite, vaccines!). They are not that aunt, and neither am I.
They haven’t taken our kids solo, maybe adoration comes from that opportunity? Hmm maybe I need to grow a bit here.
Childfree, proud auntie to the sweetest nephew and niece here – I love this post!
IDK. The movie aunts who have no kids are awesome. But experience has taught me that aunts who have kids of their own and feel competitive with you and your kids can be destructive, manipulative, toxic and vile.
AND, I so appreciate this. I am childless, and I LOVE being an auntie. I am grateful to have the best niece and nephews (1 niece, 3 nephews) AND two great-nephews! They have filled my life with so much love and joy. It’s nice to see a post about aunties. :-)
As a proud Auntie, I LOVE this! Thank you!
Between my husband and I we have 3 siblings. They live in different cities from us so the distance can be challenging but apart from that none of them seem super interested in our kids. I often feel so bad that my kids don’t have this network of other adults who would love to hang out with them. I feel such a pang of jealousy when I hear aunts and uncles gush about their nieces and nephews. The grandparents in our lives and even great uncle are ALL IN, but the aunts and uncles just can’t get on board :(
I relate to this so much. I know my brothers love my children, but they’re not very good at calling, coming for visits, asking about my children, etc. My husband and I are SO invested in the relationships with our nieces and nephews. We have done A LOT to build those relationships — even during the times when we lived far from the rest of the family. We host sleepovers, FaceTime/call/text, go to their activities, take them on outings or camping trips or invite them along to our family vacations, get them carefully chosen and personal gifts for special occasions…and I wouldn’t change any of it because I genuinely love those little humans. But the double standard is really heartbreaking. A lot of it feels rooted in patriarchy, to be honest. There is this cultural space for ultra-invested aunties, and women are invited to celebrate their relationships and emotional connections with children, and I don’t see the same structural support or societal training for men. But it still really hurts to feel like my kids miss out on those other relationships. And my husband’s sisters would say they love our kids, but the reality is that they have never done anything to get to know our children or love on them outside of the standard family gatherings when they see them. They don’t come for visits, they don’t call, they don’t give any evidence that they care about them as people (or care about us as parents), and it sucks. Honestly, the best “aunts and uncles” my kids have are my best friends and their partners. I didn’t expect that, since I’d been a doting aunt for over a decade before becoming a mom, but that’s how it’s turned out.
The first baby born to one of my siblings was born at this time of year. I always get emotional seeing the falling leaves and remembering that incredibly exciting day that kicked off my career as a proud aunt. I have keepsakes from all of them pasted in my diaries over the years – they all have a big piece of my heart and always will.
My sister is the coolest aunt out there. I’m so lucky to be her sister, and my kids…beyond lucky. Hooray for all the awesome aunts! And hooray for Grace Farris. She’s a real gem.
Aunties are THE BEST. Moms only with more focused attention. The energy of that love is truly magic. My boys have missed their aunties so much through the pandemic and I’ve missed that joy for them. I do my best but you know at the back of my mind I’m thinking about dinner time or if they need to brush their teeth. Which is good and important but it’s not the same. All the love to the aunts (and all the honorary aunts of every age and degree of relationship) out there. xox
I was just thinking about how one of the reasons aunts are the best is they gush about your kids as much as you want to but don’t because you don’t want to be annoying. In my weekly zoom call with my sisters we probably spend on average about 10 minutes each week discussing how cute my newest baby is, and it is the perfect indulgence. They’re the best!
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