
To cup or not to cup, that is the question. By the amazing Grace Farris.
P.S. Why I regularly talk about periods with my sons and 15 great reader comments on sex.

To cup or not to cup, that is the question. By the amazing Grace Farris.
P.S. Why I regularly talk about periods with my sons and 15 great reader comments on sex.
Menstrual discs!! I used to use tampons, then switched to the MeLuna cup (so many different sizes and styles under one brand made it easy to find one that fit) for 8 years. Now I use the Nixit disc and it is a million times easier to insert, doesn’t
leak, holds more, lasts12 hrs, and sometimes empties itself without any intervention from me (Google: auto-dumping) when I’m going to the bathroom. I have a heavy period and a fairly high cervix. The Nixit is perfect for me; you may also want to try smaller discs brands if you are smaller. Took me 1-2 cycles to perfect the removal process: I relax, bear down, use my thumb to unhook it and then pull it out like a drawer while leaning back on the toilet. I think about my period a lot less and have no problem wearing the disc to work since I only empty it morning and night. Highly recommend!
I’m curious about cups and disks but don’t want to go through multiple versions trying to find the best fit. Is there consensus about best brands/options for different situations ie: heavy flow, given birth several times, titled cervix, etc?
Also, do I would love to know more about people’s experiences with period underwear. How do you wash them and deal with dirties until you are ready for a load? Do they smell at all while being worn? I cloth diapered my kiddos so I’m up for a laundry challenge but I would like to know what I’m in for. I’m thinking of trying just a couple of pairs for back up/overnight.
I am going through perimenopause, and the heavy absorption period undies do not hold anything for beans. I went with an Amazon-ish label, because I don’t spend $30+ on one pair of underwear, and they give me three for that price. I also am back on pads because of the perimenopause, and I cannot wait for the end of my periods (sorry to all the ladies who lament the loss periods because no more kids).
Random question: are people misspelling Judy Blume on purpose? This is the 2nd time I’ve seen it online spelled “Bloom” and I’m assuming it’s for some cool reason I’ve totally missed out on. Just curious!
This is SO TMI but I’ve been wanting to talk about this topic/issue yet I have no one I feel comfortable enough to discuss it with. My best friend introduced me to the cup, yet I’ve having a very hard time figuring it out- also it causes me so much anxiety. I have real issues with the ‘letting go’ bit once it’s in there. Like, what if it slides all the way up and I can’t reach it? What if I push it further up trying to get my fingers around it? (Blood makes things super slippery in there). I get so overwhelmed letting go for the tip of the cup once I have it inserted that I end up pulling it out and going back to tampons haha. My friend just thinks I have stress issues and keeps telling me to get over it which doesn’t help my anxiety. Someone please let me know/reassure me if the cup is actually really difficult to pull out. Thank you!
It can be scary right?! At first I got anxious, but the more you relax, the easier it is. There is really nowhere for it to go, it can’t get lost. I find it helpful to think of it as a suction seal, when you have a good seal, it’s harder to pull out – instead of just pulling, try breaking the seal first and then it will come out easily. To break the seal, you can kind of fold it. Hope that helps!
Ok so here’s some expert advice from a nurse midwife who has seen lots of vaginas. The vagina is only a few inches deep (5ish) and at the end of the tunnel is the cervix which is the entrance to the uterus. The opening of the cervix (unless you’re imminently giving birth, ha) is at most a centimeter wide. No way your cup could fit through there. There is literally no possible way of putting it in too far, bc if the vagina is 5” deep and the cup is 2-3” long, you only have to reach in a few inches at most to grab the tip. I’ve been using the cup for years and I love it. I admit I have fairly light periods though so heavy bleeders might not be so keen. My technique: fold the little guy up and stick it in, let it unfold while your finger is still in there so it is still exposed to outside air and doesn’t create a vacuum (does this make sense?), once it’s opened back up shove it all they way up with a twisting motion. Bearing down while doing so can help. Ideally it will encircle the cervix which should make a nice seal and prevent leaks!
Hello there! I’ve never gotten along with the ‚long-ish’ cups but I REALLY like the discs! No suction at all. You might want to look into those. (Occasionally, it‘s a bit of a mess when handling it – might help to get one with a ring/string for easy removal.) For me, discs were a game-changer.
Statistically speaking you’re probably fine, but if you’re really concerned about the logistics of removal, I’d recommend something like the Flex cup. It has a little loop (instead of the more common stem), which makes it very easy to grab and automatically breaks the suction when you pull it. I tried a stem version first, and it did indeed go deep enough that I spent a very contortionist hour or so trying to reach it. Like, I’m not especially prone to panic-induced poor decisions, but I was about 15 minutes away from going for the pliers. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve seen others talk about a stem being too long for them and they had to trim it for comfort. There really is enough anatomical variation that the same basic parts aren’t always quite in alignment.
As another commenter mentioned, this is a deeply personal topic, and our individual experiences hold their own unique value. I’m 34 and have moderate-to-heavy periods. About five years ago, I made the switch from pads to menstrual pants, and honestly, I couldn’t be happier! They’re comfortable, reliable, and provide a sense of security, all while being a more sustainable choice for both myself and the environment. I can hardly remember what life was like before using them—it’s been such a positive change for me. I never quite got on with tampons, and while I love the concept of menstrual cups, they didn’t fit into my routine either. The pants, though, were an absolute game-changer!
period underwear *forever*
After a few years of fibroid-induced crime scenes, my doctor and I decided on a hysterectomy. I feel so much better and while I know I felt this good at some point in the past – I don’t remember when.
I used giant pads, period panties, and sometimes just staying longer on the toilet to manage the blood flood and then asked my doctor if blood floods were normal. She said no.
Monica, I am so curious about this. My current periods are just like you describe. How old were you when you had your hysterectomy? I am 35.
This was me too. I had my hysterectomy ~4 years ago (42 yo) but I would have gone for it earlier if I’d realized the ‘crime scene’ level flows were not “normal”. It was the quickest convo ever once I finally got an ob; had it scheduled after 1 visit! 10/10 recommend. I still have my ovaries so no early menopause.
I think the weirdest part of it was that it took about a year to be comfortable leaving the house without double checking I had emergency backups of everything period related. Hadn’t realized how much it was dominating my life til it was gone
Hysterectomy club here! I got mine last year at 36 after years and years of hellish, painful periods due to fibroids. The freedom I feel at not having to run my life around my cycle (and no more ER visits due to blood loss) is immense. It’s of course a big decision and a major surgery, but I have no doubt it was the right one for me.
Lol at the chart – love it!
I started using a Hello Disc about 2 years ago and haven’t used anything else since, except for emergencies. It’s amazing! I have an IUD so I cannot use cups. The disc is similar to a cup but it just sits above the cervix instead of suctioning into place, so it’s 100% safe with IUDs. You can also use it during sex! I’ve never been pregnant, so I am not sure of the efficiency for individuals who have given birth…
I use and love Natracare period products! Still disposable but much more eco friendly and no chemicals. http://www.natracare.com
If you like using tampons but want to reduce plastic waste (applicators), an option is ob tampons. They’re just the absorbant part and your finger is the applicator. You get used to it. I’ve gotten so used to them that I was confronted in a restaurant recently with the need to change my tampon and only ones available in the bathroom had those plastic thingies. I tried, but had to take the tampon out and put it in the ob way!
I’ll second this! I got used to OBs because that’s what they gave us in the Peace Corps. You get used to them quickly and SO MUCH LESS WASTE!
Big fan of period underwear! I used to leak through tampons and I have a fibroid so a cup was uncomfortable for me. Now I only use tampons when I am on vacation because the underwear can be a bit tough to manage away from home (eg rinsing, hanging to dry, etc).
I need to add my one cents. I am a pad gal with really heavy periods. Let me tell you that pad technology has really come a long way since our middle school days. Flex foam is where it’s at.
Period undies!!! Aisle brand – Clean ingredients and the boy shorts style can hold the equivalent of 8 pads. I’ve had zero leaks and can walk around on my heaviest days feeling totally dry. I forget I have a period. Has changed my life!
Love Aisle brand; I’ve been wearing them since the days they were called Lunapads. I’ve tried a couple others but I still prefer the Lunapad/Aisle ones I have (in rotation with a cup and the odd tampon).
In the past couple of years I saw a gynecologist on instagram said that most the gynecologists she knows don’t have periods. They opt out. And I thought damn. I should investigate. So now I take birth control continuously (I was already on it- I LOVE it bc I had extremely heavy periods as did my sister- so much so she was hospitalized and had transfusions). Anyway. I love being able to swim all summer without issue. 10/10 recommend.
Same. Haven’t got my period in decades except for the rare occasion when I have break through bleeding and I need a reset. I can’t imagine trying to be organized once a month to deal with any of this.
Yes! This is exactly what my gynecologist told me & why I no longer have periods.
I call it too modern to bleed: opted out last year at 42 after decades of heavy bleeding that left me anaemic and barely able to function on the worst days- plus my cycle was 23 days or less. My gynaecologist suggested I try a pill and I have never been happier. Iron levels are back up and I can even donate blood now.
Yup! I’m gay and I still take continuous pills to avoid getting a period. It’s fantastic.
But only works for people for whom the pill does not trigger crushing depression. The year I spent on the pill I also spent in bed, so depressed I could barely get up. No thank you. All to say, good for you, not for me!